Happy Birthday Jord-O!

Our very own Jordan turns 22 today. In honor of this great milestone, Jeff and I are giving the birthday boy a 22 post salute. Here are 22 things about Jordan that make us laugh:

1. He inspired a poem entitled “Rugged as a Mountain, Annoying as an Eel.”



2. His first and only (thus far) kiss was his future sister-in-law, Carrie.



3. He names all his trucks. The little brown truck that started out with Jeff was dubbed “Daisy Lightening” on account of the cute daisy antenna ball he put on. “Ol’ Blue” was driven during high school and played AM radio while guzzling a quart of oil each day. His current ride is “Optimus Prime.” A sweet full-size truck that both of his brothers covet.




4. Jordan is the proud owner of a concealed weapons permit and a gun named “Betty Lou.”



5. The most traumatizing event in Jordan’s life occurred when he was four years old. His two older (and loving) brothers “hid” him in the hide-a-bed. This happened several times and still gives him nightmares.



6. During his wrestling days, he was known to consume supplements with Bovine Testicle Extract.



7. Jordan got to know several law enforcement officials during an explorer course. This was very beneficial to Jeff when he was pulled over for speeding days before leaving for medical school. Jordan sweet-talked the officer into giving Jeff a warning thereby allowing him to keep his license.



8. Jordan mailed a large, white snow shovel from Texas to Idaho during his 2-year mission in the Fort Worth area. It was signed by all of his companions and is proudly displayed in his room.



9. He served honorably as a campus security officer at Idaho State University. He was a very good assistant to the real cops.



10. He’s adopted his best friend’s dog and horse since his mother will never let him have his own while living under her roof.



11. Jordan won third place in a wild cow milking contest in Montana (the competition was drunk). He dreams about owning a ranch in Montana and living as a real cowboy.




12. Jordan looks GOOD in pink.




13. He has a huge head. Seriously, it’s like Sputnik – it has it’s own weather system. (Go ahead Jordan – go cry on your huge pillow.)



14. Jordan’s favorite Friday night pastime is spending a romantic evening with either his best friend, Tim, his brother’s family, or his parents.



15. Much to the chagrin of both his brothers, Jordan managed to lose every lawn mowing job that his brothers handed down to him. It took several years to build up the business but Jord-O ended it in only one summer. Thanks Jordan, thanks a lot.



16. Jordan’s favorite food condiments are pepper and powdered sugar. He makes a mean Orange Julius that Carrie requests every time she visits.



17. Carrie has great respect for Jordan ever since he drove her 1991 Honda Civic hatchback (sans air conditioning) from Salt Lake to Omaha in mid-August. He wore a long-sleeved pink shirt and still managed to look “hot” with a sweaty back.



18. Now that Jordan’s dad has become a grandfather, Jordan can safely claim that he can beat the tar out of anyone in the family. Jeff is just the warm-up. Jared would argue he’s the strongest, but he’s afraid of becoming the next victim.



19. Jordan is constantly teased that he will end up as the independent, single uncle who takes his nephews fishing and owns the best truck. (We love you Uncle Steve!)




20. Jordan, what are those on your blanket? Ribbons? Didn’t mom have to replace them a couple times because you rub them at night so often?



21. Jordan made a pact with a neighborhood friend that they would marry when they were 70 if they were both still single. We all think they’re going to get married way before then, they just don’t realize it yet. At least there’s still hope.



22. Jordan is everybody’s favorite guy. Every day is a party when he’s around. He kicks the energy way up and gives the best bear hugs. We love you Jordan and hope you have a very happy birthday. Think of us when you eat your pink lemonade pie.